Monday, July 16, 2012

WHAT?!? Swollen Band!!!


Here's my update...

Haven't had a fill or unfill since Dec 2010....

Then this last month I have been struggling a bit at night. About once a week I would wake up with fluid in my throat. Which makes me cough and there was a slight stomach acid to it all. It was smaller then my past aspiration experience. (smaller amount of fluid almost burp like amount)

I wasn't sure what to do about it. I made sure to quit eating at dinner time (6pm-ish) and give myself a few hours before bed. And that seemed to help. But then it would happen again when the only thing I had put in my body was water and when I hadn't eaten food for over 4 hours. I know how dangerous aspiration is but I figured I could just avoid having an un fill by sleeping most nights propped up with pillows and cutting off all food and liquids at least 3 hours before bed.

That only worked about 90 percent of the time. It was just so dang unpredictable. UGH!

Well, this weekend we went camping and it was horrible. I wasn't eating poorly, so it wasn't because I was abusing my band... but for what ever reason I was aspirating multiple times at night. Last night I ate my last meal at 8pm and drank little to no water the rest of the evening. Went to bed at 1:30am and woke up at 4:18, 5:30, 6:00 and 7:15... 3 of those times I was propped up in a sitting position. So in a nutshell I was aspirating on my saliva. WHAT THE ****!

By morning I was scared and I called and made an appt for an unfill. I was prepared to take all the fluid out. I kept thinking of my sweet boys and how it would totally suck if I died because I was to stubborn/scared of weight gain to go get a unfill.

Sigh.

Luckily, I seem to not be any worse for the wear and I have had 1cc taken out. I asked "How come a band that is perfect for months can suddenly be so tight?" I was told that it just happens.... sigh. I guess when I got banded I thought once I was in the green zone it would just stay there. But I am learning that is not the case. I am  beginning to understand that in order to be a responsible band owner I will be maintaining "it" for the rest of my life.

But I am so grateful for the new life it has given me that it will be worth the cost of the multiple DR appts a year. I better just start adding in the cost of my band maintenance into the family budget. It is what it is.I think I was just in denial for the last month. (and I HATE spending money on things I "think" I can fix myself)

On a side note: I went blonde!!! I guess you can say that my weight loss has empowered me and I am doing things now that I would have never done before. I tried out for my 1st play and actually got a part. In August I will be performing as a vain stepsister in a production of INTO THE WOODS. How crazy is that!


 These are not the best photos but this is me in one of my on stage costumes. I seriously am only wearing this outfit in 2 of the scenes. How nuts is that!!!! I am a bit concerned about the skin under my arms waving to the audience but I guess I can just try to keep my upper arms close to my body. Well, wish my luck on that one... let's just hope you can't notice from the floor. I seriously would have never been brave enough to do this at 313 lbs.




And here I am with my blonde hair. My hubby likes it... so maybe it will stay around for a while. I dunno. Personally I am a brunette so I haven't completely takin to it.



Well... I'm off to bed.  I am WAY nervous that I will have another horrible night. Hoping that 1 cc was enough of a un fill. The DR made it sound like it would be. Last night really, really freaked me out.

Night.


Photobucket

Sunday, March 25, 2012

WHAT!?! 2 Years just snuck right past... (pictures)


I've been banded for 2 whole years... getting this little tool "installed" was the best gift that I could have given myself and my family. I am still anxious to see where this journey will take me. (And to be honest a bit nervous as to where I'll end up) But all I can say is that never in all my life of dieting have I ever been able to maintain any amount of dieting/weight loss for any amount of time. So this is a new record for me and you know what? I'm still losing...

Yeah, sure, it's a lot tougher now to lose weight then it use to be (when I was first banded, it came off without a lot of work on my part) but it's at least possible!!! And for so many years.... it was just SO IMPOSSIBLE!!! I feel normal now.

Maintaining is the new normal for me and if I want to lose weight then I have to really eat less and work out more. I mean that is what I always heard people say that's what it took to lose weight but it just never worked that way for me.

I can't really explain it. But if you've ever been really overweight you'll know what I'm talking about. And if you've never struggled with major weight issues then you'll just think it was lack of will power on my part. But I'm telling you... it was something more. Something I couldn't take care of on my own. I needed help and for me that help came in the form of a little tool called a Lap-band.

Now losing weight is more like a game. A challenge... Can I lose another 10 lbs? If not.. Oh'well.. I am happy where I am... if so then how cool is that!!

I have met all my personal goals for why I wanted to lose this weight... my last goal of seeing 180.00 on the scale is only 8lbs away. I have lost 125lbs. I am 94% of the way to my goal of 180lbs.

I feel blessed. What an opportunity and blessing this has been for me and my family. I remember about a week before I went to have my surgery laying in bed with my husband, he said something like "Wow, this could really be a game changer... you could look totally different in a year...." I agreed with him but my heart was thumping in my chest and I was really scared that it was just another false hope, just another gimmick, just another failed attempt... AND It hasn't been a magic fix. It HAS taken work, effort, dedication and responsibility. But I'm telling you now... It's been worth it!

So just for fun... here are some photos of me pre-band. As always click on the picture for the larger version. (cringe) I'm sure I have even better more embarrassing pictures in my back up files but these were the handy picture files still on my computer.










2 years After:


Yep, that's me on the left with 3 of my siblings... I look tiny wedged in there between my big ole brothers. Yeah, and I just said "tiny" a word that I never thought I would say in regards to me!



Photobucket

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Whew!

Happy to say that I made it back to my pre christmas weight! YEAH!

I am on a new mission to make it to 180.0 by Easter. I even bought a Easter skirt and top that doesn't really fit at the moment. It's all snug and lumpy. So I have what about six weeks to drop that last 10-12 lbs. In order for that outfit to look good.

It's been a while since I set a serious goal so this is going to be challenging. I figure it's perfect timing. It's starting to warm up and I am am ready to get a movin.

I have always wanted to weigh 180.0 but never thought it possible. I am so close... I can almost taste it! I can soooo do this!!! Send me some good motivation vibes! Cute Easter outfit here I come... by the way... it is a size 12. AHHHH!!! a size 12!!! That is nuts!



Photobucket

Thursday, February 9, 2012

It's Your Choice...

If you keep eating what you've been eating you'll keep weighing
what you've been weighing.


Your CHOICE.


ADMIT that every time you eat you are making CHOICES.

Choices that lead you towards or goal or choices that keep
you stuck or make you go backwards.
Figure out what you
REALLY want and make the choices that lead you there.
--Jessie

Read this to day... and it made me go hmmmmmmm.... going to post it on my bathroom mirror.

Photobucket

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Don't think about it!

I've decided to "not think about it".

When I get up in the morning I just put my work out clothes on... drop my son off at school and head directly to the gym.

Once I am there I LOVE it!

The problem I have is that if I think about it... I make all kind of excuses not to go. example: I'll work out at home, I'll go later, I am running behind and the class will be to full... etc etc

So there you have it. Decide what you are going to do... and then don't think about it. ; )


Photobucket

Saturday, January 7, 2012

1st major weight gain since being banded

Well it had to happen at some point. After having lost half of my fill... and combining the timing with Christmas. It was the perfect storm. Yep.. I put on about 9lbs!! HOLY CRAP! Yep that is how I feel. It happen in like two weeks... it was all that dang sugar and lack of will power.

The good news is that I am down 3 lbs already and I REFUSE... I SAY REFUSE!!! to go down the gaining weight road any further.

I have a fill appt this coming week. I am hoping that I have been unfilled long enough that any band irritation that I had has gone away.

To help things in the right direction... I am only allowing myself to have sugar 1 day a week. (I can have honey... just no sugar)

Also I am back at the gym.

That's it in a nutshell.

Stupid weight gain but hope is in the near future! : )


Photobucket